George the Gelatinous Jedi
Had powers that no Jedi had seen:
His olfactory sense was suberb;
His eyesight was extraordinarily keen.
He could leap twenty two metres,
He could lift more than ten times his weight,
He could summon jelly at will,
He could wibble wobble on a plate.
But like many, he was bullied at school.
They called him ‘Blob’, or ‘Jabba’, or worse.
Even his master joined in the teasing
Saying: “Come, my Padawan, ooze the Force.”
But George just shrugged his shoulders
Well… as much as an amorphic mass could.
He knew how to deal with bullies
He knew how to stop it for good.
He’d heard that famous old rhyme
About names, and sticks or stones.
It didn’t really apply to George.
As he was completely devoid of bones.
His plan was slightly different:
He didn’t want to wait and ignore
Being strong and silent didn’t suit him
And so he simply seeped into the floor.
He absorbed each of his bullies.
Dissolving them like they were food.
Maybe that’s what they deserved
After all they had been quite rude.
But George’s Master got it the worst
His vaunted powers couldn’t help.
As his boots sank into the jelly.
The last thing he could do was yelp.
George hadn’t finished there
Even as his Master began to die.
He processed the absorbing cells
Into that jelly found in a pork pie.
George now reformed triumphant.
His bullies vanquished for sure.
He resumed his Jedi training
And had a long and successful career.
I think this poem is still a draft. I originally stopped it after the twelfth line, but then it just kept on growing. I’m not sure if it loses its impact in the whole ‘revenge’ section. Would welcome any editorial feedback!
Leave a Reply